Calico Trail run weekend....day 1

So this past Friday morning, hungover like hell, I drove down to Anaheim, Ca. after talking to my buddy Jasper and signing up for the Calico Trail Run 30k , he told me there was a mountain bike hash going on in Anaheim on Friday night, and to come down for that. Sweet. Mountain bike in the truck, a few red bulls and little sleep. bleh.

Arrived in L.A. around 3:30pm, and hit that famous SOCAL traffic, which btw, sucks balls. 15 miles in 1 1/2 hours. the suck. Finally made it to the hotel where we're staying, and Jasper is 2 large beers into it, so I drop one, throw some food in me, and we go check in. Get the bike ready, and call for a ride from the hashers.
Seems the start was about 1/2 mile away. After about an hour of milling around, there was about 30 people who showed up, and all kinds of bikes. Had a few more beers and then the hares took off.

Was great, once we got on the road, I'm in shorts and a t-shirt in January. God I love this weather. hahaha it's probably in the low 70's at this point.

The ride took us into some brush and down the rail road tracks, around the stadium and eventually a few miles down the road, we hit our first beer check. After about 20 min, some hoser in a truck rolls up yelling about riders going through a construction zone, and if there were anymore in there. hahaha apparently the hares, laid trail through a large construction field, and caught the guy sleeping. He saw them as they were heading out, got bent and tried to take it out on us. dumbass. whatever, dude, go back to sleep.

Beer truck of the BOHICA H3 mtn bike hashers.
Rolled some more, and was fun outgunning most of the riders, we arrived at the Flamingo Showgirls strip joint, which was a full nude joint, so no alcohol was served inside. :| oh, well, just having fun. it was a bit nasty, and I have to say I kind of prefer the ones that keep their bottoms on. Not that I have been to a strip joint in like 4 years...but I'm just saying.
After the hour long delay at the strip joint, because all the bashers came out and saw that half of their tires were flat, we went on. Two of the guys went out of their way and managed to change about 12 tubes, and fix about 15 tires with some slime and hand pumps. hahaha doesn't that sound good. :)
The trail took us into this 2 mile long storm drain tunnel. They're huge here in Southern California, what with flash floods a reality. Right now, just a bit of water trickles down the center, nasty ass water, so you hug the sides, and hope you don't have to pass anyone and go over the water. Some self portraits as I try to keep the bars steady, and see ahead with the tiny light on my bike. (note: time for a new headlamp)
Beer stop #3 in the middle of the tunnel. That's Weed Whacker in the blue shorts, moments after he ate it hard. hahahahaha the dude, was coming up to the beer stop, thought it'd be funny to ride through the water and splash everyone with that nasty ass water. Well, as soon as he started yelling out and laughing, he lowsided his bike and slid about 10 ft in the nasty water. HAHAHAHAHA kinda what he gets. He was laughing his ass off. You can see the bike where he left it up ahead. We downed a few pbr's and on we went.
Beer here!
The rest of the pack caught up and finished up the beer.
We finally made it into the end, and ended up being the FRB!!! Wha!?!?! Gaylord an FRB in whatever capacity?! no way!!! yep, that's right. it's a different era. Here is Cockrider, a harriett who's name I can't remember and myself. Peep the cool shirts, courtesy of the BOHICA portable shirt maker. (a piece of cardboard and a can of spray paint...always green paint)
Then on to the "Stripper dogs". Damn good hotdogs wrapped in bacon. Did I mention we were not on a nutritional strategy regimen for this weekends race? :D haha damn they were good.
The BOHICA started doing these, after they found them at a strip joint at one of their beer stops some time back.
Here Cockrider, demonstrating what should be done, according to his "announcement" which no one was expecting. It was along the lines of telling girls how to suck cock the proper way. Something about not fucking around and go for it...he was much more descriptive, and will wait till he streamlines his PSA and then post it. haha

We floated the keg, stuck around till about 1am, then back to the hotel to watch as Cockrider was so drunk he could barely walk, managed to puke and eventually pass out.

Good first day.